My Journey with Cancer. How it all began.   67 comments

October 1995

Went for a colonoscopy, afterwards, the doctor told Rob and I that he would like to do another, but this time it would be done in hospital under anaesthetic.

Two days later the Friday, I had the other scope. Rob and my son Len, were sitting at my bedside, and we were joking and laughing when the Doctor came. He looked at us and said there was no easy way to say this, but the two centimetre growth he had found did not look good, and he was almost sure it was cancer. He told us the laboratory tests would take three to four days before we knew for certain, and that he would phone us as soon as he had the results. He told us to be strong, and left. The poor Doctor, I don’t know who felt worse, him or us.

We all sat there with our own thoughts, not knowing what to say to each other. I looked at Rob and Len and the next thing we were holding onto each other, no tears, just stunned. Not once did I think about cancer before the colonoscopy. I looked at the two guys in my life and told them not to worry, that whatever happens we will handle it, now we had to go home and phone our daughters Magda and Tania and tell them what was going on, and that was not easy.

Now we have four days of waiting, and we are all trying to be strong for each other. In the meantime my thoughts are running away with me, our son is eighteen and writing his finals at high school, our youngest daughter is twenty and writing exams at college, how are they going to keep their minds on exams with all of this going on. Our eldest daughter is married and has three lovely little boys and I won’t see them growing up. And then there is my husband, Rob and I have never been apart, we go everywhere together and do everything for each other, how on earth is he going to cope without me. What is going to happen to our children? Then I realized Maaaaaaaaan! Linda! You are having such a pity party, snap out of it girl, right now!!! And promptly went and made dinner with everyone giving me a hand.

Wednesday evening the phone rang and Rob answered. I heard him say hello to the Doctor, and then a little while later I heard him say “So then it is definitely cancer” I got up and left to go to my room crying softly all the way, I remember closing my door and as I reached the side of my bed, a calmness came over me, starting from my head going right down to my toes, and then I got this warm feeling as if someone was giving me a soft hug. Well, I sat on the bed, and when Rob came into the bedroom he looked at me and said “Love you’re smiling” and I said “Yes, I am going to be O.K”. I told him that I had felt a hug from Jesus, I think he thought that his wife had lost it, but if it kept her from crying, that’s good. Ha! Ha!

Rob being a Christian said from now on we will call it you’re “Jesus Hug”.

Two days later, with all the family at my side, I went for my operation and they removed half of my colon. I remember coming to at some stage and the Doctor was telling Rob that I was cured, luckily the cancer had not gone through the wall of the colon and that no chemo was needed. He could not have given us better news than that. I woke at some stage after that and saw Rob sitting at my bedside, I thought it was visiting hour, but he told me it was 2.am in the morning, he could not sleep so he came back to be with me., a drive of one hour over a very mountainous pass., he made this trip for ten days twice a day sometimes three. All I can say is that this Bulldog of mine has a big heart, he showered me with a lot of love and attention in my hour of need, for that I will be forever grateful.

colon-cancer

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Posted 20/09/2013 by linda in Cancer

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67 responses to “My Journey with Cancer. How it all began.

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  1. At times like these our day to day concerns seem so trivial and how the support of a loved one becomes so essential.

  2. Reblogged this on Spiritual challenges .

  3. Very moving story, Linda. It brings back all memories to me too. I love the way you felt Jesus was embracing you and that you directly knew, that he was with you on this hard ordeal of life. Love and faith are indeed very important to overcome this terrible disease. You’re a brave woman, with a fantastic family. I don’t know, if I say this right, my English is not so good anymore, but I hope my words come across as how I meant it. Pawkisses for a Happy Sunday 🙂

    • You’re English came over beautifully and thank you for reading my blog. You are so right about love and faith, without it we life for me would be very hard.

  4. Great you share your story and give others encouragement. I know many friends who went through this too and I have to agree that love nad faith are most important ingredients to get through this!

  5. The courage to say is a very great help to others. The best comment I can make is : Big Smile 🙂

  6. Thanks so much for sharing your story, Linda. It’s so beautifully written, and I’m sure is such an inspiration to anyone who finds themselves walking the same path. My dad died of colon cancer, and I’m sure that if he’d gone for a colonoscopy years earlier, he would still be alive today. He always refused to see a doctor, even when he was obviously not well. It’s so important to be in tune with your body, and get checked out if you sense something is wrong. You and Bulldog are a great team, and I can feel the love and support you have for one another, radiating from your posts. *hugs*

    • Thank you so much for you’re kind words Ad .I am so sorry to hear about you’re dad , it is hard when you lose a loved one. You are right about being in tune with you’re body it could save you’re life. Hugs back to you.

  7. Hello Linda. A beautiful, tender and loving account of such a hard and scary experience, written by a very strong lady. I am sincerely moved. So well written and expressed. My favorite part is that you and your families love for one another shines through each word. You have been very fortunate in your choice of partner, as he has with you. I am a very quietly religious person, But the hug you received from Jesus did bring tears to my eyes, as I understood what you meant in that moment. Thank you for sharing your story here. So many will be renewed from reading your words. You are so brave! Penny xx

    • Hi Penny, thank you for those kind words and for reading my blog. I’m humbled by your comment, and never realized that parts of my post would have such a profound effect on others. I’m now encouraged to continue with my story, so much support.

      • Please do Linda, so many need to read your story, your love and your courage – to give themselves hope too and a stronger belief in faith! 🙂

  8. I’m so glad it had a happy ending and that your family is strong and loving! Thank you for sharing this journey.
    Russ

  9. I am so touched by your story Linda. I think it takes great courage to write about our struggles but also believe it is a beautiful way to reach out and help others who are walking a similar path. I cannot attest to the feeling of hearing the words “you have cancer”, but certainly have walked in Bulldog’s shoes, feeling the worry and the helplessness when someone you love has gotten this message. Beautifully written from the heart Linda.

    • LuAnn I want to let people know that I am walking proof that there is life after cancer. You are so right about our loved ones,it certainly is tough on them. Working on my next blog,I am glad that Bulldog bullied me into doing this,I am getting to know some wonderful people. God Bless you and you’re hubby.

  10. Thank you to both you and Rob for visiting my site and signing up to follow my posts. I will attempt to continue to make it worth your while, and also to return the favor, and drop by the bottom of the Dark Continent occasionally. BD is right about how easily and well you’ve made your blog look. Truly inspirational, keep up the good work.
    The wife has suffered from spastic colon for years. An older sister was operated on for colon cancer. She survived the surgery, only to contract C Difficile infection. Before she died of it, she made each of the family promise to endure colonoscopies. The wife’s spastic seems to be merely muscle spasms. but the test revealed a single large pre-cancerous polyp in the secum. In dying, one sister saved the other. 🙂

    • Thank you for those very kind words. Please tell you’re wife that I am so sorry about her sister’s passing. She sounded like a very wise lady because she gave you all some very good advice,and I am so glad to hear that you are doing what she asked of you. A polyp was my problem,but when found in time they are not dangerous. Please also tell you’re wife I can sympathize with her condition. Love to you all.Linda

  11. Linda, I think it’s great that you are able to write about your journey that has been far from straight – I started on mine, but I couldn’t continue.. it was far too heavy on me and it brought back so much unpleasant memories to me.
    When they told me that they had found a tumor bigger than a golf ball … I just said, what now. I never cried over the news … I never thought that I could day – all my thoughts concentrated on that the pain in my hips will go away with the tumor. ‘
    Linda, I think it’s fantastic that you are able to share your journey, the rough and tough, to support and encourage that maybe is on their journey or have somebody close that has been diagnosed.

    • I am so sorry you had a tumor,I hope that you are better now and that all the pain has gone. Thank you for you’re kind words Viveka and for reading my story.

      • Linda, nobody connected my hip pains with cervical cancer – I could hardly walk or sleep. Hopefully I will be free from the cancer – so fare so good. 3 years ago.
        I have got side effects from my treatments that reminds me about where I have been daily, and the cause me big problems at times and I could give anything for having my old body back, but I’m alive and that is a wonderful gift. Not many of us that gets a second chance on life. A new note book with empty pages to fill. You’re a good teller, Linda.

        • Viveka it is true what you say, getting a second chance in life is a wonderfull gift and we have to live it to the fullest. I am so glad that you have been free of cancer for three years now.Praise The Lord for that. Hope your new note book will be filled with a great amount of happiness and lots of laughter.

          • Linda, my note book … is my blog – and it’s full of adventures …. welcome over *smile
            Laughter always has it space in my life … and it was want made me come through my journey – I was really sick in the end and if it hadn’t been for my sense of homour .. I don’t know. Was never had a thought that the cancer could mean death … but during the last 2 weeks I wanted to die .. because how ill I was. Here I’m and there are you.
            Life is great.

  12. That is a very scary event. With love and faith you made it through. Your story serves as an inspiration as well as that of Bob’s. Wishing you and your family all the best.

  13. You have put this across exceptionally well. So many people believe that if they should ever hear such news from their doctor, they might as well curl up and die. You will be an inspiration to them.

  14. Thank you so much for sharing your story, Linda. It is a beautiful story of love and victory; one that needs to be shared. I am so blessed that you are blogging now, too!! Skye

  15. That was the shortest pity party I have ever seen…you know everyone is allowed to have one…occasionally. I like your sense of knowingness, not just when something was wrong, but also when something was right…that Jesus hug calming your uncertainties and lifting your spirits…giving you a Rock (Bulldog) to lean on for support and love that helps in the healing process more than anything else.

    • Than you Mrs.P,you are so right love is the key word. As for the pity parties, you make me feel better because I have had some really whoppers in the past.

  16. Thanks for sharing, Linda. I think this will help others who are going through the same thing, and there are millions of them out there.

  17. I cannot do without my Bulldog fix the past two months with stunning talented photography shared with us. Now I read your personal ordeal Linda. With your Jesus Hug and love and support from Rob, your pillar of strength, your daughters and son you survived. And you are both blessed with three beautiful grandsons too. How great is that…! I can relate to this journey as in 2001 my mom aged 68 was diagnosed with colon cancer. The operation was successful but six years later we lost our beloved mom due to stomach/pancreatic cancer, two months before my daughter’s wedding. We were devastated as you can imagine. Thank you for sharing with us, a reminder of how important family is. God bless a very special family.

    • Thank you Zita. So glad you enjoy Bulldog’s photos,I am very proud of him. I am so sorry about you’re mom, it is not easy losing someone you love, it must of been especially hard and sad on the day of the wedding. May you’re days be blessed by His love.

  18. That is so beautifully written and I take my hat off to you both.

    • Spoooook!! At last I get to meet you, Rob has spoken about you so much, I feel I have known you for years. Thank you for you’re very kind words.

  19. Pingback: Our Life Together. | The Photographic Journey of bulldog.

  20. I really like how you’ve written this Linda – you’ve given the information in a simple matter-of-fact way, just enough medical info without too much, and you’ve included the emotion, but not in an overly dramatic way for effect. It feels very gentle and sincere. I’ll look forward to reading more installments.

    • Thank you Vanessa-Jane that is a huge compliment,you have made my day.

    • Vanessa you are a star.. this is just the type of encouragement she needs, she has such a story to tell.. that I feel will help so many others.. she can walk into an Oncology dept of people getting chemo and talk to those looking dour and down and in such a short time have them smiling,.. I stand one side and wonder who this woman is that I married…

  21. You and your family was very brave Linda and I am very glad you all came through this as I know it must have been tough. Great post and thanks for sharing. 😀 *hugs*

  22. I am so glad you are doing this blog, Linda. You know how one feels better after talking about things, well writing is even better. It gets all one’s feelings out of the cracks and crevices – a good cleanout! I found out after I began blogging just how cathartic it can be. Love you, be strong my friend.

  23. Why did you go for the colonoscopy, where you feeling uncomfortable?

    Having someone to support you is very important. The lonliest I have ever felt was driving alone to the Drs and not knowing what they would say.

  24. You two are so adorable 🙂 My bestie is a several year survivor of the same cancer and she is busy as ever with life as you two are and will continue to be.

  25. This was such a personal story to share with the blogging world. I admire your courage! Linda, you are truly a blessing sent to all of us from Heaven! Continue to Blog as I am captivated with your journey.

    findingmyinnercourage
  26. Linda,
    You have a very powerful story to tell and you write it so heartfelt and beautifully.

    whiteladyinthehood
  27. Your post conveys so well what you all went through and the love that surrounds you. I can’t even imagine how scary it must have been. Wonderful post.

  28. You are both great and I do believe love is the most important power to deal with this. Shouldn’t be easy to write and share your journey but you are doing great job dear Linda, you won my heart, Thank you. Blessing and Happiness, love, nia

    • Thank you Nia,love is the key word, love of family and friends. Putting my trust in The Lord also made it so much easier for me and my family. Love Linda

  29. and now you surprise me with a post I never saw coming… your memory of the events is so correct, but you forgot to tell everyone how I felt inside… scared beyond words… but put up a strong pose… I loved the fact that for someone who has only now begun to learn the ins and outs of the internet world and computers for that matter, to have done this on your iPad and to have posted it makes me very very proud of you… just don’t ask for a laptop, you’re doing just fine on that iPad of mine, or is it yours? I can’t remember… keep it up…

    • One of my future blogs will be about how hard it is for the family when someone you love is ill. So happy with my iPad (for now) . Could not have done this without my Bylldog.

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